Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The Struggle Is The Glory [June 30 1:26 PM]

I came to office to see Gopi's e-mail: "Reminder of the past...!!!".
It had this picture and a quote below it:

"The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems,
but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect !!"

We have had happy days spent in our home just like this, under rain drops from the roof.
We had a dog, a cat and a lot of chicken and cattle too.

I am feeling a little monotonous these days. I know the reason.
After I came to Houston and Gopi came to Bangalore on a better offer,
within three months we paid back all liabilities we had for our studies.
Now what ever I earn is mine in its entirety.
I have now nothing to worry about.
This is what I have been longing for my whole life.
But, after reaching at this point, it is neutral, calm and not much exciting.
Am I aimless? Is this the reason for the monotony?
My aim was to settle down financially. Not to heap property.
It was a lot of struggle.
We have seen a lot in life.
Had to stand out under the sun for not able to pay school fee.
At the same time, I was the topper in the class most of the times.
I got the highest marks in my mandal sarroundings in 7th class.
During plus two also I am pressed for fees, but thanks to my principal.
I got good education there but could not win a medical seat, which could have been a favor to the institute.
I lost my dairy (year 2000); in that I wrote this one day:
I must earn money. Money sufficient to buy a cool drink on a hot day.
Money to buy and eat a piece of cake.
Money to watch a movie at least once in three months.
And  the list doesn't go much forward.
A lot of memories.
The first tomato+egg curry we prepared one month after moms demise, when all relatives left.
[We are really (?) fortunate to have people stayed with us for a month in that moment.]
Wonderful days we spent in Kadapa doing my graduation. I got a few 'friends indeed' here.
Days in Hyderabad, I used to skip lunch by eating a mini 5 biscuit packet. Not long back, in 2004.
Days I used to work all the night in data-entry job (I got only Rs.350 for this) and used to go to college during day.
I am not the only one in data-entry. I found many other guys in worse condition. But I was the most educated among them.
There I have this thought: A lot of young talented poor people, deprived of resources to excel in their field.
I promised to myself: I would help at least one once I get a job and start earning.
Insults, triumphs, poverty all through (amma has seen only this part),
forgettable moments, unforgettable moments, jealous people in disguise,
moments of pride,  deep sorrow, great misunderstandings,
unwanted sympathy from people(it is difficult to take), unnecessary advisers,
false well-wishers, people always good at heart, real well-wishers,
friends indeed, back biters, opportunists, and many more.
I've always  believed in myself.
There was a time I was down hopeless.
And one of my 'friends indeed' invited me to join him in Bangalore looking for a job.
Once there I grew in confidence.
It seems funny now that, only then I started to speak in English as it is much needed to get a job in IT.
I had to, because Kannada is new to me then (September 2004).
I was so low in confidence that I was very hesitant to talk even with the guys working in bakery.
It seems hilarious now, I was not sure how to ask: "Do you have honey cake?" or "Do you sell honey cake?" or "Do you prepare ...?"
Slowly I learned to frame sentences.
But when I had to respond spontaneously... words wouldn't come out, I used to feel inferior.
I know grammar (but it was limited to writing exams), so I don't speak wrongly.
Even today, after two and a half year, I take time before I say something.
I excelled and earned respect at workplace because of my technical skills and hard work.
Both Harsha and I got this job in the very first attempt, clearing all five rounds with ease.
In fact we did not go to get the job. It was an attempt to learn more from the tests and to get experience.
My aim was to settle down financially. Not to heap property. I drew the line.

Now that I have my aim achieved. I am autonomous now.
I keep my promise by helping a few with in my limits.
I wish I would continue. It gives a kind of satisfaction.
I have earned respect in my workplace.
I am aimless now, clearly.
No fun without a challenge -- I know this fact, but experiencing now.
Aim should also be a need. Only then there is pleasure in achieving it.

Now that I better understand my favorite quote: "The Struggle Is The Glory."
I first heard it from the film "the Ghost and the Darkness", Starling is the character that says this dialogue.
This comes out of him after a wonderful week of "working together, accomplishing great deeds."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

god bless u...