Fear Is An Infection

Fear is an infection.
It is an epidemic that spreads real fast.
Once spread it incapacitates and disables the people under its grip.
When people are incapacitated in their own mind, life becomes an agony.

This is where we see gutsy people with lot of courage and a great nerve.
They are not afraid, come what may; they never lose hope; they are strong.
They understand one thing - never let the fear creep in you, give a fight.
Because once afraid, you are disabled mentally, it is worse than death and you will wait to die which will be delayed making every minute of your life a mysery.
It is safe to give a fight. Why don't you be among the gutsy personalities!?

Each problem in your day-to-day-life is very big, till a bigger one occurs.
When you have a 'bigger' problem, your 'big' problem doesn't bother you as much.
'Bigger' problem makes you laugh about your earlier concern over the 'big' one.
Think big. Have a big heart. Never be feared by your problems, it is of no use.

You have problems from with-in your family.
You have to face problems from the small society you are living in.
You might be invaded and your plans can any time be destroyed; nothing is permanent.

**** **** **** ****

These are the thoughts I got after coming out of the AMC threatre show of Apocalypto.
Mel Gibson is one man who can get into the intricacies (Kamal Haasan is another one who can do it), and make you feel the seriousness of each scene and character. I liked the movie very much.
This very element in his 1995 film BraveHeart made me an admirer his story telling skills. I heard his another film PassionOfChrist has the same element depicted.
My other favourites - TheGhostAndTheDarkness, Gladiator emphasize the same.

StuartLittle is also a very courageous and naver-say-die character with a kind heart, he uses his love as a weapon to win hearts. This appears in almost all cartoon/animation pictures. This is one reason I love to watch animation movies. This is the reason I can never miss Tom and Jerry show on TV.

Pooja Vs. Protection - An Experiment

My search for a car came to an end unexpectedly. Thanks once again to Mr.A.T
for this invaluable help. I became the owner of it within three hours after
he found the car in e-bay on Monday evening. We went to the car dealer.

That is a Mercedes Benz showroom. The range of cars they sell is surprising.
They sell expensive brand new Benz cars; they sell cars that are more than
ten times less in price. I remembered how I felt when I first entered
the Forum mall in Bangalore. But this time I didn't feel that I can’t afford
to be there. Who knows may be I can buy one within next year. In fact I bought
my car from a Mercedes Benz dealer. I felt the car is heavy on me. It took
some time to sink in; I gave a small treat in nearby Chinese restaurant.

Thanks to Rajesh for helping me in the deal and for driving it home that night. Through out the way he kept on saying that the drive was pretty good. After
coming home, Harsha said “Wow, fantastic.” That’s the reaction from the
owner of an Acura. I always wanted my car be red in color. The electric
red car looks really outstanding in the parking lot. Everybody who had a
look at it said this fact. By then I said to my self “Ok, now I should be
prepared both mentally and monetarily for any damage caused by envious
neighbors and kids”.

Arun bought a car the previous day. He proposed we all go to Meenaakshi
temple; perform a car-pooja for the safety of him, Nandeesh and me.
I, personally, do not believe that pooja would protect me. If doing pooja
guarantees my protection, I would not have bought insurance. It doesn’t.
So I refrained from it. I, being an inexperienced driver who doesn’t care
for poojas, might not get the sympathy when something bad happens to
me or to my car. Instead I might get this blame – “You don’t care God, see,
this is his power”. If that is how God shows his/her power, how does he
differ from a local rowdy who demands your respect and attention?

Let me see what Meenaakshi of Houston thinks about it, if at all she exists.

Rajesh drove the car from the showroom. Before starting the car, he asked
Aaraj to give a CD. Aaraj gave his new Guru CD. About to play the CD, Rajesh
paused it and asked me "I am sorry,... would you like to start with..."
I understood what he wanted to ask, and said, "Who else is the God,
if Rahman is not the one?". Rajesh smiled and continued till we reached Aaraj's home.

Blogging Is Like Remembering God

I definitely update this blog when something is continuously bothering me.
While I write down I analyse why I am so restless, by the end I am relaxed.
By the end of that post I am back, ready with a plan of action.
I may forget to update the blog once I feel life is in control.
I haven't written any thing here in this blog for a month.
Reason: Life has been glorious for the past few weeks.

Wonderful trip to Arkansa in Nov second week. Right time to see Fall colors.
Not just the beauty of nature, it was the group of people that made it memorable.
Eleven people in two 7-seaters, changing from one car to the other at each stop, forming different groups in the cars. You can repeate jokes.

Last weeks visit to Houston Space Center, was useful to see a few beautiful girls there. Thanks to Aaraj and Smitha. It was not worth in education point of view.

First time I am experiencing Winter season with temparatures less than zero degree celcius. This is something new to me. It is not safe any more walking home from office.

Foreseeing The Glory

Last week has been really glorious in its true sense.

First thing, I was approved to get drivers license.
Thanks to the four people who helped me in this.
Harsha - For looking after the car rental issues.
Nandeesh - For taking me to the DPS office and waiting.
Arun - For his patience during my practice.
Aaraj - For the risk he has taken to teach driving
and for having trust in me, for allowing me drive
in downtown the very second day - big moral boost.

Second thing, I practiced singing a song after 10 years.
Again, thanks to Aaraj for helping me enjoy the song.
Without his keyboard-playing and singing support
the song would not have been so enjoyable.
I got some real appreciation and encouragement from some
of my colleagues who have that taste.

After a long time, again, I said "no sir/madam" when
a few people asked me if I knew/learned Karnatic music.
Singing this Jayadeva ashTapadi made me believe in myself.
Also, a few Kannadigas were pleasantly surprised when I
came up with a melodious old Kannada film song.

Party attended by non-Indian colleagues as well.
After my Kannada song Anne said "Good one" and then
to my shock she asked if that was a sad song.
I had to tell her a beautiful romantic song
need not be a fast beat number.
While I was having dinner Goron came up to me to say
"Fantastic performance. You sang very well."
This guy has traveled frequently t India.
I felt happy for 'a non-Indian appreciating our music'.
Not just my participation, I enjoyed to see a lot of
hidden talents and enthusiasm in the party this week end.

Harsha has stolen the party with his "KajraaRe" dance.
He formed a team of five and composed and taught the team.
Harsha played AishwaryaRai(with dress, makeup and wig - his expenses)
Manvantara played Amitab Bachchan, he was so damn stylish.
Nandeesh played Abhishek Bachchan, he was at his best during the performance.
Ramprasad played a supporting dancer, still he caught viewers attention.
Anantha was the other supporting dancer.
The team got a ground breaking response. Their hard work paid.

There was a photo session with AishwaryaRai.

After the party it resonated from Aaraj when I asked him
"do you feel like successfully performing a marriage?"
It was all his hard work and decisions behind the party.
So he was responsible for any thing that could go wrong.

Things are moving one by one to construct "my own" life
both at home in India and here in Houston.
As of now I can foresee a secure autonomous Ramu in near future.
Moving out of comfort zone to find an individual solo life style for a few days (years!?) before marriage.
This struggle should take a glorious shape by coming January 2007 at least.

Life Turns Glorious

My life is not fantastic any more.
It is glorious now. Glorious because I am struggling.
"The struggle is the glory" - My favourite quote.

I was not happy to keep it fantastic.
Being fantastic felt monotonous.
So I wanted to come out of the confort zone.
I happened to land in a comfort zone which is made without my contribution.
I grew bigger to it and wanted to come out to build my own confort zone.
Exactly here started the struggle.

First I need to get rid of the "LOFS age 21 or over" restriction on my DL.
It has been more than a lengthy process so far:
I need two licensed people, one should be a car owner.
The car owner drives us to a car rental location.
I take a rental car and the other guy will have to drive this car home.
I need a one year experienced licensed person to practice driving.
A licensed person will have to drive my rental car to DPS office.
He has to wait there along with me till I get an appointment for road test.
Then we both come to our workplace.
Both should get permissions to go to DPS office at appointment time.
Should wait for our turn and I should pass the test. But I failed once.
The next day we got appointment again, but...
I had an important meeting exactly at the time of roadtest.

I am patiently waiting for the next time to co-ordinate all these resources.
Waiting needs a lot of patience, this is one struggle, which ends in glory.

Failure throws a lot of queries at you, which makes you struggle to find answers.
Questions on your ability to sustain small challenges, ability of your autonomy.
Finding answers and solutions needs a lot of constructive thinking and composure.
This introspection demands me to spend some time alone, I am just in that stage.

Compared to human struggles across the world, my life is really glorious.

Fantasies In My Fantastic Life.

Never in my school days I could afford to enjoy an excursion. In 9th class almost all my classmates went for an excursion, except a few like me. Cost 200 rupees. Hard times. I remember saying happy journey to my classmates in the tour bus.

This situation helped me by:
Not letting self-pity hurt me any time.
Making me know my limits and cope with the reality.
Of course, a desire to find myself enjoying this kind of missed things one day.
I believed I will be rewarded if I study well and I was a little lucky too.


I was on a trip to the Washington state (not the city Washington DC) during the first four days of this month.
This tour, for me, is like a violent revenge for school days.
Why not? Definitely it was quite eventful.
A lot of diverse events and unforgettable experiences…

1. Flying [by Continental airlines flight] diagonally across the USA from down south-east (Houston) to the up north-west (Seattle). Mid summer in hot humid Houston to mid summer in super cool breezy Seattle, what a change!! Once again I got a window seat in the flight; third time. What ever it may be, I can still say: Sitting in flight is not at all comfortable (I do not know how it feels in business class).

2. Visiting the manufacturing unit of Boeing 777 aircrafts. This building is said to be the world’s largest building by volume. Its roof spans across 98 acres. They assemble the parts that make an aircraft before they paint and deliver to the customers. The guide said the next one in line is Boeing 787 series, with wings that can swing 34feet up and down like a birds'.

3. Watching Seattle city and its water bodies from the top of the famous spaceneedle photos: Ramu .

4. Ferrying to the Bainbridge Island. Here I was standing at the deck against the wind and watching the sea in amazement. There were people around me. I was almost in meditation. After some time only I remained there, probably because of the cold wind every body else moved back and stood close to each other. When I came back to this world I found myself standing alone and all other people standing at a distance.

5. The drive along the thick forest and lakes.

6. At a beautiful place photo: Aaraj I tasted the seawater for the first time. Though I did not drink the water it caused a stirring sensation in my stomach after some time. I was a little embarrassed when Harsha, Nandeesh, Arun and Aaraj came together with their cameras and asked me to stay there at the water. Click Click Click Clickphotos: Aaraj, Arun, Nandeesh and Harsha respectively.

7. Night halt in the remote Makah village photo: Ramu of less than 12 families; thanks a lot to the couple Aaraj and Smitha for finding a shelter in a such a calm and peaceful place. That night after 12 O clock (Sep-2), it was Aaraj’s birthday. Smitha, Arun and myself had to play hide and seek to get a cake and Roses into the car without letting Aaraj see it from a Wallmart store on the way. I doubt if we executed it properly. Just now asked him [yahoo chat], he said he had no idea of our plan and noticed nothing unusual on the way. We had a party that night in our shelter in Makah.

8. First glance of the cold Pacific Ocean and a rare sunset photo: Aaraj . Rare because the area would generally be foggy, Sun won’t be visible. According to official sources ;) only in mid summer the Sun appears for a few days and we were lucky to be there at the time.

9. The most thrilling moment of life that could have killed all six of us - we lost our way on a mountain cliff.

After watching the sunset we had a nice dinner at 10pm (grilled fresh salmon) and got back into the car. Aaraj had a GPS (global positioning system – communicating with satellite) that really helped us find roads and places in the city. Here as well we followed the GPS. It suggested short route to our Makah village. And we followed it. Highway to gravel-road. Gravel road to dusty road. The road worsened further.

Now we see grass in the middle of the road. Some green grass, some tall dry grass. Trusting the GPS we drove the car (7-seater) anticipating a better road after a two or three miles. But the grass hitting the bottom of the car is clearly audible after some distance. Now we can see small canal like streaks made by rain water flow in the middle of the road. It was a thrilling experience. We hope we are going to join a wonderful road soon.

Moving forward the road (it is no more a road, it was a trail way) was getting dampened. GPS is instructing tirelessly –“After 200 yards turn right and then turn left” etc., and we are moving. The car hit the ground making an absolutely unwanted sound. It did the same sound again after a minute. Every body looked at their mobile phones. No signal. Looking out side... no light. Thick forest. Thicker darkness. Said to have mountain-lions and bears.

Time 12:12am. Car shows the temperature outside 12 degree Celsius. All of us got the doubt: “Can we ever make it to home? Is there is any chance of survival?” I asked for the camera to capture the moment, but it was behind and Nandeesh was not willing to give it to me.

Car is slowly moving forward on the bad way. Hope. Even if we are struck we have plenty of water and a little food. Sufficient gas. Major threat can be from humans. We can be tamed by a single gun there. We came to a decision, to stop the car and make a decision.

Decision is made: “We have pushed the limits already. If we had to hear the engine hitting the ground one more time, we are dead. So try if we can turn the car around. We got down there. We found ourselves on cliff of a mountain, when is very next to the sea shore, and the other side thick forest. The way we are going now is definitely not for this car, it might be for the forest ranger’s vehicle.

We moved further till we find a place to turn the vehicle around. For a while Arun, Harsha, Nandeesh and myself got down and started walking in front of the car to avoid engine hitting the ground.

My thought was this: Car head-lights, four people, car making it's maximum sound possible on the rugged way. This is all new to bears and lions. They do not dare attack us. Even though we will be watchful. If needed we blow horn, make sounds to engage the beasts and we quickly get inside the car.

Came back all the way, jokes started flowing again. Hopes back on. As we saw the gravel road again, we all felt we survived. Reached the main road and reached home by 2am. I slept after reaching the main road. Arun was driving Harsha and Nandeesh were talking to him to keep him alert. They said on the way back to Makah village - 78 miles - they found no vehicle on the road except one guy on his bike.

10. Walking the trails in rain forest photo: Ramu , a place with regular 200 inch per annum rainfall. During Bi.P.C (intermediate). I studied about green plants having no roots photo: Ramu feed on moisture and nutrients in the air. They use the branches and trunks of large trees as their habitat, doing no harm to the host.I could see them all over the rain forest.

11. Came back to Makah village - Makah is a tribe that lives in the area - they have a culture. Got up early to capture the morning in my camera. The morning was pleasantly colorful.

12. First time I had a glance of the glacial hills from a distance - it is mid summer in this place. Wonderful vista photo: Ramu , of cascading blue mountains - the mountain blue slowly fading into white noon-light at the horizon. That was a bright noon not ideal to capture the scenes in camera. This place was on a high altitude; the drive up through the thick green mountain cliffs was a hearty experience. Third day evening out of the rain forest trail, we enjoyed the huge and tall treesAruns camera. photo: Aaraj., blue sky, fresh water streams photo: Ramu - From inside fast moving car - Only bottom-left is blurred , small rivers, canals and the pleasant sunlight contributing to the beauty of the place.

12. As we drove, the place slowly became dark and foggy. Till we saw a sign reading that there is a beach, we did not know we were close to the Pacific ocean.

13. Stopped the car at a place got down to hear the sea roaring. Went down close to the water but the fog was like a drizzle. Fog was so thick that we could not see clearly more than a few meters. This is the common daily situation at that place; the day before we were lucky to see the Sun set.

14. On the way where ever we got the mobile phone signal Aaraj and Smitha were trying to find a place for food and shelter for us. After making a lot of phone calls, we could find a restaurant to take rest for that night.

15. Final day we've been to the active volcano mount St.Helens. A few days back we happened to see a nice program on this mountain in National geographic channel.
Walked a six-mile trail there, in the noon. As we walk by the volcano gave a big puff of smoke photo: Ramu . Arun noticed it and showed it to me. I captured that moment in Harsha's camera. I was thrilled with the thought that there is hardly any chance to get out of there alive if it erupts now. It had erupted in 2004 last time. In 1980 it has erupted for the first time changing the landscape and destroying 1,50,000 acres of forest. The volcanic debris was thrown 15 miles into the air; an information board at the place says this. NGC says the power is equal to 500 Hiroshima atom bombs. Driving to the place we saw a board reading there is a helicopter ride over the volcano.

When I was less than 8 years old, once my father and myself went to Rayachoty - a town 18 km away from my village Veeraballi. People were gathering at govt college grounds (now I know that it is govt college). My father also rushed there. We made way to see a helicopter.It was ready to take off. Once its fans gained speed the area was filled with dust. Rayachoty is The dusty place. My father closed my eyes. After some time I opened my eyes the helicopter was in the air. I could see it in a cucumber size flying away getting small. That was a big wonder to me. I felt great to see it on the land. Then we had a fun time removing the broomstick pricks from our clothes and dust from our hair.

When I was even smaller in Bhattupalli one winter morning I was in the kitchen near charcoal fire next to my mother. It was warm and comfortable there. We heard a sound from outside. I thought it was a tractor sound. The sound grew louder. Gopi and I still believed that it was a tractor. My father announced that its helicopter. The next moment we are out of house to see it fly by at a lower altitude. Cucumber size – it makes a lot of sound. That is a wonder in that village.

"Aaaha, helicopter ride was my childhood fantasy photo: Arun , I should never let this chance go by", I said to myself. Smitha, Aaraj, Harsha and me enjoyed the ride. That was a wonderful experience. I got the video of the place from helicopter - the video is good, ...think I did a good job. Before we entered the helicopter we are told not to extend any object out of the window, but I had to hold my camera a little outside for better view, the wind was so powerful outside, I felt it will take the camera away from my hand. We could see the solidified lava, the lakes formed by the eruption, ash on the water. And my first helicopter ride was the last event before we drove back to Seattle to fly back to Houston.

16. Scenic drives photo: Aaraj through out the thick rain forest, hills and streams; its a dream world.

17. Flying across the USA from Seattle back to Houston, I got a window seat again.

These are the kind of days I've been longing for all my life. Spending the money I earn without any obligations. Of course saving is definitely important. There is a thin line between saving money for future and spending it for the present life. Where to draw that line, is probably a personal decision. These words would make my father worry about my future :)

Some one asked me: Hi Ramu, how is life?
I said: Life is still fantastic man, I need some change.

My favorite quote: Struggle is the glory.

For one of my previous posts I got an anonymous comment: "God bless you!"
I thank my wellwisher. Hmmm.... Ok, god bless me!! :) I suggest him bless everybody. I suggest him to give peace to all the people in the world so that CNN would focus on other developments in the world, not just Afghanisthan, Iraq and USA :) I am bored to see CNN programs on terror hours together.

An Eventful Week-end

Saturday August 12^th, we went to Galveston a town near Houston.

First time in my life...



I happened to see a sea [it's not a beach]. Very next to the sea there is a road.
It was a nice view. The sea was not as scary as I imagined.
It was just like a big lake with no boundary at the other side.
It was a like a up-ward slope of water at the end we see the sky.
For my eyes the horizon looked nearer than what I had picturized all these years.

Aaraj already informed me that the beach would be muddy and polluted with oil-industry wastes.
Yes, the water was not good enough to get in and play.
So I have not touched the sea yet. Taste the water? Yuck!!

I captured a nice video while we drove in Aaraj's BMW X5 along the beach.
It turned out to be an achievable private video because Aaraj and I were singing an on the spot developed X-rated parody of "Ruk Ruk Ruk...Arey Baba Ruk...Oh My Darling Give Me A ...k" and this was the background score for the video.
We bought the gear to swim in a better place a few miles away, but it was muddy there as well. But the beach was full of people playing in the dirty water.
Earlier I had a glance of the Areabian sea from the Air-India flight in Mumbai.

We entered a restaurant from there we had a nice view of the sea.
All ten of us occupied a big table and a question was asked to the waitress:
"Do you have some sea food for us?”
Everybody along with her burst out laughing.
That was Aaraj-mark-amusement.

First time in my life...
I tasted a dish made of oysters, cheese, spinach and a little bacon.
We visited an aquarium in Moody gardens.
In the restaurant a group was performing Hawaii dance. It was nice.

First time in my life...
I saw a few penguins. Captured a short video of their movement.
I happened to see a sea-horse.
Seahorse has a fan shaped back that makes a kind of interesting vertical movement.
Failed to get a nice photo of it.

It was an extremely humid and hot day. But fortunately it was breezy.
Reached home by the evening very tired.

Instead of sleeping I started writing in Unicode a few padyaalu, vachanaalu from the Panchama Aswaasam of DroNa Parvam of the Andhra Mahaa Bhaaratam till 4am that night and submitted them the next day to andhramahabharatam google-group.

One Can Be Rich Not Just By Money

Six years back that was a proud moment for me.
I was the one among my friend circle to get a useful rank in both Venkateswara and Osmania universities.
One of the first hundred BCA graduates who could secure a post graduation seat in Osmania University.

But this proud moment was turning to be a cruel one as the counseling date approached.
Reason is the same with many middleclass Andhrapradesh students -- insufficient money.
I had a lot of relatives, said to be my well-wishers; they end up giving unsolicited advices.

One of them, who did not advise me, got ready to give us some amount as a loan. I am always thankful to him.
But that amount was not enough. My dad and I were looking at the roof, in the relatives' place.
We were dried up of sources, in other words we need to compromise at our pride factor.

At that moment I found an option, my classmate, one of our friends from the close circle.
I just called him over phone, he appeared in front of me in just 20 minutes…
… all the way by bicycle in the scorching heat at 11 O'clock in the morning.
He said, "yes". By that evening I had enough money to join the course.

He had no proof of liability, no promissory note until my dad called him up for his signature.
He was not financially sound too; just another middle class Brahmin with a few responsibilities, who had to work real hard to make his life prosper.
He knew very well that I have no quick source to pay his money back.
All he had was a blind trust in me. What more do I need to regard a person as my friend!
At the age of just 20 years, with a lot of liabilities on my head, in such a poor situation I could generate money.

All this happened in the presence of my helpful relative, in his place.
He was impressed with the very small friend circle that I was a part of, in Kadapa.
That gained me a lot of respect and recognition and changed my reputation -- boy to man.

I gained a lot, I am gaining and learning a lot from the very small number of friends I have.
I am enriched by their support.
But I have done nothing so far except that I have this gratitude for them.

Finally, At Last, However, At Length, Eventually ...

Things are happening and life is lively and lovely.

I passed written test to get temporary driving permit.
I am healthy and playing volleyball everyday.
Flight tickets booked for Seattle trip this week end.

It is an achievement to put on 6 kgs, my weight now has reached 60Kg (135lb).


I still am the same raw fellow; here is an observation:

Friday I worked hard all day and got things in order for boss.
Boss is regarded as a BIG guy in the office, he indeed is, physically too.
Got to ask the boss if he needs my assistance or can I leave home.

A teammate and I went to him, I said "DO you require us to be here?"
Boss looked bewildered,;I noticed "Do you need me stay here or can we leave?"
After uttering those dry words, I realized what I did.
My team mate lightened the air "How is every thing, is it working well?"
Boss smiled, then laughed and said "Yeah...ok....but...." etc.
As he was talking to us his phone rang and he siad, "I'm in office, will call you back."
Phone rang again, boss was still cool and said, "I am in office with a few people around. Later."
Turning to us he said "My wife, she is saying hey hey hey hey".

After five minutes it was known to us that all is well with our work.
Boss said "It's week end. I will now go home, teach one or two manners to my wife, (I said "oh..it's alright") and then we'll go to dinner. what about you?"
I responded immediately "Well, I do not have a wife to teach manners...."
Boss laughed out aloud as his big physique followed the vibrations; team-mate and I joined the laughs.

Had this light moment not happened, I would have been still thinking about my Raw Move, may be that is why people call me Raamooo...

Wallet

At last, today I took a firm decision to buy a wallet.
Then I felt relieved as if a heavy load is off my head.

I take out debit card from my pocket... to pay in any shop or cinema or restaurant...
My friends, colleagues and people around express surprise and advise me to have a wallet.
Harsha had already told me to buy me to buy a wallet and carry it.

I ask "why?"
I have asked Harsha, Aaraj and who ever advised me.
All of them said the same thing which could not convince me:
"Chances of losing your credit card is less when it is in your wallet, than in your pocket."
"You can carry all your important documents and other cards and some cash in a wallet"
"You can feel a wallet in your pocket, and can realize soon if you forget or lose it."
"Carrying a wallet always with you is a sign that you are a grown up man."

I am still not convinced because:
1. Chances of losing it increase because a wallet tempts attackers or pickpocketers
2. You can carry cash, docs and other cards in wallet, but what about the chances of losing all at once?
3. Feeling a wallet is unconfortable, it makes your trousers uneven, sitting uneasy.
4. Who should I send the sign that I am grown up man?

None of my doubts are answered by them, but they consider I am unusual.
They are right. Almost everybody carries a wallet.

In US, people talk all over about identity theft and related fraud.
One day I lost my debit card.
I am bothered about it and thought of transfering all my money to Harsha's account, for safety.
After launching a massive search operation, I found it and felt relieved.
I also found out later that, Aaraj hide it there.

In this weak moment I decided to buy and carry a wallet with me.
At least currency notes will be free of wrinkles :)

Till today I used to think wallet is the new name of a purse.
Because the only such thing I ever have seen in my house is a black leather purse that had used by my mother.

The Art Of Love

Just an hour back I have watched the famous Mira Nairs' movie "Kama Sutra - A tale of love" in HBO channel.
This is second time. This time also it was beautiful, but in a little different way.
I have seen it in 1999 in my friends' personal computer. I was doing my graduation then in Kadapa.

First Time:
Motivation factor to watch the movie is everybody's knowledge. Leaving this apart...
It was the music that attracted me the most.
Who doesn't appreciate the sound of Tabala and Saarangee!?
Hats off to the idea of using Subha Mugdals' wonderful voice.
At the time of writing this I am listening to her classical hindusthani vocals from http://www.musicindiaonline.com/.

Second Time:
A few dialogues in this film and the visual beauty of every scene... photography if I may call it.

Maya To Jaikumar: "You have no power over me, I am not your servant."
JaiKumar realizes and proposes to Maya: "A servant can be a master in disguise."

TheKing to his queen Tara: "I know you hate me."
Tara pauses a while and says: "No Raj, I do not love you enough to hate you."

Mayas' voice as walks in a windy and dusty path in the last scene: "Life is right in any case. One got to be prepared for what ever it takes ...with courage."

The Best Resolution

Ramu: hey chats
ChatsK :hey rams
ChatsK :how u?
Ramu: I am good
Ramu: I am working on improving my glamour
Ramu: How abt you
ChatsK :Good
ChatsK :I have to think abt it now
Ramu: my method is to stop thinking
Ramu: and sleeping not less than 8 hours a day
Ramu: glamour improves automatically. Our HOD in college used to say this: class lo endukee allari, intiki poi haigaa nidrapondi, glamour ainaa perugutundi kadaa!? [why do you disturb others here in classroom, go home and sleep well, it improves atleast your looks]
ChatsK :yes
Ramu: I suffered severe headache for the last one month... that is after I bought the laptop
ChatsK :Ohhh...don't get tight with that man
Ramu: and I was watching a lot of TV "Everybody loves Raymond, Sex n city, Friends, Movies, Telugu DVDs, Tennis, Football etc"
ChatsK : Laptop is addiction
Ramu: it's 4 months since I came to Houston... three months I had only one tablet...last one month I took 4 tablets...
Ramu: then I talked to a doctor friend ... he suggested a few tablets as usual, and then told me to meditate
Ramu: all these are for the cure
Ramu: I asked him -- the prevention?
ChatsK :Don't take tablets much...reduce on laptop
Ramu: you are right... akkadike vastunnaa [coming to the same point]... I asked the doctor "sleeping well helps?"
Ramu: doctor said "The Best."
ChatsK :so, u decided to sleep a lot..
Ramu: doctor: "computer monitor, laptop, TV and light all are stimulating factors for migraine." ... and he told as if he has seen me suffering... he said all my headache symptoms --vomiting sensation, photo-phobia, nerve pain etc
Ramu: so I am implementing it now
Ramu: I have not touched my laptop for two days
Ramu: slept for 8 hours in the two days and will continue
ChatsK :ohh...
ChatsK :total 16 hrs?
Ramu: I can see the difference in office also
Ramu: I am able to smile a lot
Ramu: I am dealing with colleagues really well
ChatsK :Good...
Ramu: I am ready to take any load of work and am doing it with ease
ChatsK :yeah, that’s the power of laptop...
Ramu: though I am awake for less time... I am leading a quality life
Ramu: Inadequate sleep, oh my God, is hell... sleeping is the best medicine
Ramu: Kaavuna Arjunaa, nidura pommu
ChatsK :And sleeping with a partner is....
Ramu: "sleeping with" ... I guess would be wonderful
Ramu: it regulates body functionality
ChatsK :Yes, circulates blood in all parts and gives new energy
Ramu: ...new energy for certain parts
Ramu: and that… temporarily minimizes blood supply to brain, causing sleep...which again is good for health
ChatsK :lot of benefits...with one task
ChatsK : J
Ramu: God bless me with a wonderful partner!!
ChatsK :He will bless u....
Ramu: ASAP
ChatsK :Then lok around...
ChatsK :look around...
Ramu: ... all I see looking around is chairs, tables, monitor, phone, water bottle, CDs, books, pen, stapler, etc...
Ramu: and Shipley donuts ... oh...I forgot to have breakfast
Ramu: I will do it now...
Ramu: I finished my assignment a bit fast ...yesterday itself, and today’s routine is done... waiting for new assignment
Ramu: how about you?
ChatsK :go ahead...breakfast is also important...
ChatsK :I had at home
Ramu: just had a bite of donut... now I knew how hungry I was
Ramu: this is some thing harmful to me: I do not know what to eat and when
Ramu: Many times when Harsha sees me suffering from headache, he gives me a wonderful coffee. It really helps. Until that moment I do not know I need coffee. When some one, mostly my father, gives me coffee I ENJOY it.
Ramu: All coffee donors -- sukheebhava.

The Worst Sin Ever [July 12 3:02 PM]

It happened when I was around 9 years old, it still haunts me.
I have confessed it a lot of times, but even today I feel gulity and sinful.

Bhattupalli - a village of less than 40 families.
My father and his two sisters are born and brought up here.
I am, too, born and brought up here till I was 10 years old.

It was a Sankranthi season.
My father invited both his sisters' families for Sankranthi festival.
Now-a-days many educated people are calling it Pongal. I hate telugu poeple uttering "Happy Pongal".

Bhattupalli had no telephone, electricity, safe drinking water, etc.
Water was a big problem. No bore-wells.
People used to fetch water from an old well dug by the British rulers.
A bucket tied to coconut-coir-rope that is pulled over a pulley used to fetch water out of well.
Four to five iterations of this tedius work could fill a container with water that is sufficient for one person to take a bath.

After filling the container, people had to walk half a kilometer to reach home.
And back to the well another 0.5km just for another container-full of water.

When relatives come home, if at all they love you, they must help you in this.
After all my mother is new to it, not my father's sisters. It's their native place.
Water level drops too deep in the well during summer making a single rope insufficient.

During festival seasons a lot of relatives used to come to our home.
All ladies and kids used to fetch water from the well. That means there was love.

I remember walking home up hill with a small container of water (on my head) spilling over my face and dropping down all through soaking me.
It was enjoyable because it is a method of beating the heat.
Mom and aunts was not much bother about water wasted by us all the way.

One hot day I was asked to stay at home after I ran for a few rounds.
Mom and my dad's mom and sisters were fetching water. Lot of effort.

"An idle brain is the devil's desktop".

I started to fill all the containers at home to their MAXIMUM capacity.
My idea was to fill them with as much water as possible, so that I can take a LAVISH bath.
In that greed, I did not realize that I am spilling a lot of water, effectively wasting one container full.
Also, playing with water in that hot day was ... cool... fun.
Fun at the expense of hardwork of the four women.

Rupa (dad's younger sister's kid), hardly 4 years old, was watching me curiously.
Suddenly Rupa's mom came inside and saw water all over the floor.
She was physically weak too, so the work was much harder for her.
She flew into rages.
Rupa was curious.
I immediately pointed my finger towards the innocent girl Rupa.

PHAATTT!!.
One slap on Rupa's cheek.
Rupa started to weep crying in the highest pitch possible.
She shouted at Rupa, "Ramu(that's me) and we are putting a lot in it, and you are spoiling!!?"

I am given the credit of fetching water, just for two rounds from the well.
And Rupa is made the culprit. because she was a small innocent kid.

The next moment, I am struck with this feeling of "Sinfully guilty".
But I was not ready to tell the truth and spoil my "Ramu is a good boy" image.

Such a brute I was at that moment.

It haunts me often, I still believe -- I am going to be punished in a big way.
I am not worried about the punishment, but the guilt presses me hard.

The Struggle Is The Glory [June 30 1:26 PM]

I came to office to see Gopi's e-mail: "Reminder of the past...!!!".
It had this picture and a quote below it:
 

"The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems,
but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect !!"

We have had happy days spent in our home just like this, under rain drops from the roof.
We had a dog, a cat and a lot of chicken and cattle too.

I am feeling a little monotonous these days. I know the reason.
After I came to Houston and Gopi came to Bangalore on a better offer,
within three months we paid back all liabilities we had for our studies.
Now what ever I earn is mine in its entirety.
I have now nothing to worry about.
This is what I have been longing for my whole life.
But, after reaching at this point, it is neutral, calm and not much exciting.
 
Am I aimless? Is this the reason for the monotony?
My aim was to settle down financially. Not to heap property.
It was a lot of struggle.
We have seen a lot in life.
Had to stand out under the sun for not able to pay school fee.
At the same time, I was the topper in the class most of the times.
I got the highest marks in my mandal sarroundings in 7th class.
During plus two also I am pressed for fees, but thanks to my principal.
I got good education there but could not win a medical seat, which could have been a favor to the institute.
I lost my dairy (year 2000); in that I wrote this one day:
I must earn money. Money sufficient to buy a cool drink on a hot day.
Money to buy and eat a piece of cake.
Money to watch a movie at least once in three months.
And  the list doesn't go much forward.
 
A lot of memories.
The first tomato+egg curry we prepared one month after moms demise, when all relatives left.
[We are really (?) fortunate to have people stayed with us for a month in that moment.]
Wonderful days we spent in Kadapa doing my graduation. I got a few 'friends indeed' here.
Days in Hyderabad, I used to skip lunch by eating a mini 5 biscuit packet. Not long back, in 2004.
Days I used to work all the night in data-entry job (I got only Rs.350 for this) and used to go to college during day.
I am not the only one in data-entry. I found many other guys in worse condition. But I was the most educated among them.
There I have this thought: A lot of young talented poor people, deprived of resources to excel in their field.
I promised to myself: I would help at least one once I get a job and start earning.
 
Insults, triumphs, poverty all through (amma has seen only this part),
forgettable moments, unforgettable moments, jealous people in disguise,
moments of pride,  deep sorrow, great misunderstandings,
unwanted sympathy from people(it is difficult to take), unnecessary advisers,
false well-wishers, people always good at heart, real well-wishers,
friends indeed, back biters, opportunists, and many more.
 
I've always  believed in myself.
There was a time I was down hopeless.
And one of my 'friends indeed' invited me to join him in Bangalore looking for a job.
Once there I grew in confidence.
It seems funny now that, only then I started to speak in English as it is much needed to get a job in IT.
I had to, because Kannada is new to me then (September 2004).
I was so low in confidence that I was very hesitant to talk even with the guys working in bakery.
It seems hilarious now, I was not sure how to ask: "Do you have honey cake?" or "Do you sell honey cake?" or "Do you prepare ...?"
Slowly I learned to frame sentences.
But when I had to respond spontaneously... words wouldn't come out, I used to feel inferior.
I know grammar (but it was limited to writing exams), so I don't speak wrongly.
Even today, after two and a half year, I take time before I say something.
I excelled and earned respect at workplace because of my technical skills and hard work.
Both Harsha and I got this job in the very first attempt, clearing all five rounds with ease.
In fact we did not go to get the job. It was an attempt to learn more from the tests and to get experience.
 
My aim was to settle down financially. Not to heap property. I drew the line.

Now that I have my aim achieved. I am autonomous now.
I keep my promise by helping a few with in my limits.
I wish I would continue. It gives a kind of satisfaction.
I have earned respect in my workplace.
 
I am aimless now, clearly.
No fun without a challenge -- I know this fact, but experiencing now.
Aim should also be a need. Only then there is pleasure in achieving it.

Now that I better understand my favorite quote: "The Struggle Is The Glory."
I first heard it from the film "the Ghost and the Darkness", Starling is the character that says this dialogue.
This comes out of him after a wonderful week of "working together, accomplishing great deeds."

http://www.weeklyscript.com/Ghost%20And%20The%20Darkness,%20The.txt 

Einstein’s Theory Of Relativity -- Another Angle [June 16 9:36 AM]

 

I came home from office with a stripe of head-ache and tiredness; and also with a CD burnt with old devotional Telugu songs from http://www.oldtelugusongs.com.

 

I am not into the devotion part of it, but I firmly believe -- the destiny of my search for melody ends in old classical music and lalita sangeetam into which category all Indian film songs come under.

 

Even though I have had thankful nights spent listening to AR.Rahman's tunes, have had moments where I felt like touching IlayaRaja's feet for the bliss his music has given to me; old songs are what takes me into the state of Moksha.

 

Today in office I carefully selected some melodic songs that are based on Karnataka classical music and having devotional touch.

The drive behind this collection of 'devotional' genre is, the pain I have been going through every morning for a few recent weeks.

The pain is caused by Harsha's obsession to start the day with some god-related songs.

I am fine with it but there is a tick.

 

For weeks together he played songs from the film 'Annamayya' every morning.

After that it was 'Shirdi Sai Mahatyam' for a few more weeks.

Recently it is Nagarjuna starer 'Sri Ramadasu'.

These songs, in my opinion, are molested to bring out the so called 'emotion' in the film.

These very Ramandasu keerthanas are beautifully rendered by the great Mangalampalli Balamuralikrishna and some more people, with no distortion.

Having been listened to those marvelous ones, I am unable to bare these molested and twisted ones for the sake of this commercial film.

For example one line from the songs goes on saying how Lord SriRama has grown up “Allah tatvamuna allaru mudduga ...”

But to my knowledge, Islam and Allah are not as old as the lord SriRama.

How ever good these songs are for Harsha, one (at least me) can not endure them if played in the same sequence every morning.

 

Even though I do not believe in the worship and god-related procedures, I am not against people following them.

If doing Puja comforts the believers, playing devotional songs makes them happy, I am no one to interfere.

But the bug has born in me and it is murmuring in my ears -- "what kind of songs are they, how do you tolerate, they are boring, spoiling your morning ..." :-)

 

So this was the drive that made me collect some beautiful songs that have pure devotional touch, sung by some people with real devotion, they sing more for self satisfaction than for money.

You want real devotion, real worship? Go back to old times.

There are people who devoted their lives for music. They see God in music and worship him.

Obviously my choice for such music is http://www.oldtelugusongs.com

I salute and thank the organizers of this website.

 

I repeat, I came from office with a stripe of head-ache and tiredness; and also with a CD burnt with old devitional telugu songs from www.oldtelugusongs.com .

Eager to listen to them, I inserted the CD in my new five-day-old laptop and plugged in the earphones.

I know for sure neither of my room mates are in the mood to listen to them in this evening time. I am not expecting them to, either.

Nandeesh wants to watch TV.

 

I relaxed on bed in the hall, closed my eyes and was listening to the songs.

 

Nandeesh came home after some time and switched on the TV as usual, as expected. It's his right.

Then Harsha came from ouside and joined him. I guess it was a comedy show in the TV, Nandesh was laughing loudly.

Harsha was not so noisy; probably he was a little considerate for me. Later he also joined.

Observing all this was a slight distraction to my rAgsudhA rasa pAnamu (enjoyment of music).

 

They are watching FIFA world cup football league match replay with Spanish commentary.

Weird thing is they increased the TV volume.

I have no clue why that was necessary when you can't understand a single word, especially Harsha doesn't like that sound.

Now they are talking to each other aloud, dominating TV sound. They have to; otherwise they can't hear each other.

At this point exactly I cursed them in myself, "Senseless people. Inconsiderate ones."

 

But I have no right to do so, because it is hall and they are supposed to watch TV in the evening after coming from office.

I can go to another room, but didn't want to open my eyes, didn't want to disrupt the flow of music. I endured their atrocities. 

This is where Einstein’s theory of relativity kicks in.

 

Just then I felt my ears paining. Reason: By birth my ears are not designed to hold earphones.

Lord Brahma might have missed this aspect when designing my body. Manufacturing defect ;-)

I forcibly make the ear-phones sit in my ears and they apply Nuton's third law.

 

This is distraction number two. This one, slightly sidelined the distraction caused by the "inconsiderate duo". Still I can't forgive them.

Three months back in Bangalore, living all alone in a single bedroom flat,  I was enjoying music in my own way for hours together. Those wonderful days came to mind. I like listening music till I sleep and leave it continue all night.

My father used to stay with me but he never disturbs me. We both enjoy the same set of music.

Even Harsha and I have a common taste. But it is an intersection of the two sets of our favourite genres.

I think I enjoy most of his favorites, but he doesn't actively listen to old songs, which I believe are the ultimate source of melody.

What ever, there was a great pleasure in living alone.

After five minutes I found the pressure in my urinary bladder; it was increasingly intolerable.

 

This is distraction number three. Very strong one. This one undermined the distraction caused by the "inconsiderate duo". I might forgive them now. See relativity!!

I had to move around because of this mighty pressure.

I just blinked my eyes and closed again.

Seemingly, Harsha noticed me blinking eyes, and switched on the electric bulb whose lighting came directly on to my eyes.

 

This was distraction number four. But by this time I gave up. It just did not hurt me.

I have forgiven them  (as if they were begging me to forgive them).

How did I become so kind to them? Step by step.

Here is how and why: In each step there was another force which was worse than the earlier one.

 

I paused the WindowsMediaPlayer, got up and had an orgasmic pleasure in urinating; then had a semi-bath and freshen up.

Entered our kitchen and started to cut Beera(don’t know its English name), tomatoes, chilies and onions to prepare a tasty curry for tonight.

I washed all the utensils and cooked some rise also.

Curry was tasty and mixed well in the rice which means I was in good mood while preparing the curry.

All three of us had a nice dinner.

 

Just before going to bed, Harsha started ‘Annamayya’ songs, the same Annamayya; and I am awake writing all this.

After a few minutes I guess he went into sleep.

I inserted my CD into the Sony CD player and left it in low volume and slept listening to them.

 

This morning again, I was the first to start with the songs that I haven’t heard last night

As soon as I went in to take bath, my songs are stopped.

Venkateswara Suprabhatamhas started coming out of it now.

Probably worshippers must listen to suprabhatam every Friday.

I am no body to interrupt it, because I am not aware of the procedures such as what to listen/play on which day (today is Friday).

I enjoy if it is melodious and meaningful; regardless of what ever day, time and mood I’d be in.

 

All I could do is to learn to live with it. And I did it.

Moral of the story:

Severity of every pain is relative to the other pains one is subjected to at the moment.

Talking and laughing aloud started the pain.

Pain caused by earphones made it look less painful.

Pressure in the bladder overpowered all other pains and made me a saint.

A saint who didn't mind even when light is focussed direcly on to his eyes.

Jai Hind.

The Great Indian Farewell Party In The USA [June 09 7:56 PM]

With humiliation and a sense of disgust my hands went up the air, palms twisted skywards; head shaking sideways and lips tight.

When a disaster that is out of human control happens,
When nature out powers -- all human efforts to protect their belongings,
When a calamity such as a fire destroys all the hard earned property,
When a flood washes away everything, ...there is nothing one can do to stop it.
You can see people beating their chest and crying.
At least you might have seen their hands going up in the air palms twisted open skywards.
It's the nature of Homo sapiens. Gorilla and monkey included.

Yesterday morning I got an e-mail to my office ID.
It's subject reads: Farewell lunch to our colleague Mr.XYZD in hotel LC.
It was a formal proposal with options: Accept, Decline, Tentative, ProposeNewDate
By it's looks, I thought it might be official and my room mate confirmed it in his style, with supporting words like "Mr.XYZD worked for a very long time for the company, ...". I responded saying "Accepted".
After all, this invitation for me is first of its kind in my two year job career.

The day has come and all "the invited" met at hotel LC for "for farewell party".
The "organizers/initiators" of the event were also present; they reached there a little before we did.

"The invited" + "organizers/initiators" = "colleagues living in Lakewood" = CLiL

A long table is arranged for the esteemed bunch.

Why not? There was an order before hand from the "organizers/initiators".
Lunch has started slowly with appetizers and people ordered what ever they wanted from the menu.
Our project managers (bosses) have not come. And a few guys were also missing.
Lunch finished. It’s time to pay the bill. Waiter asked if he can get the bill.
CLiL started to look into each other's faces. He got confused.

A meek voice came up saying "get individual bills".

Looked like almost everybody except a few are OK with this proposal.
I got shocked "Why is this called a party? why is this called farewell?"

I waited for some one to deny the proposal. Not that I don’t want to pay for my lunch but to avoid the embarrassment.

We’ve ordered for a long table in the name of our client’s company (a big name in the area) as if it was a formal party.

And now, after everybody has ordered and finished hogging, we are asking him to figure out who ate what and produce bills.

I felt it was an insult to the community. But who cares? After all I am latest addition to the community, to say my word.

Many of the CLiL didn't even greet Mr.XYZD during the infamous lunch.

They just enjoyed the food. 

Don't raise any questions about Mr.XYZD, I can't answer.
Every one concentrated mainly on reading the menu and selecting their choice to order; "organizers/initiators" no exception.

Waiter said "It would be very difficult at this stage."
A wise man almost murmured "we should have told this in the beginning itself."
Seconds are passing by. CLiL are looking at each other, giggling, transferring private jokes through ears.
All through this -- the waiter was standing waiting for the final decision to arrive.
”Organizers/initiators” kept mum.

There was a push in me to say, "I will pay the total, you can give me later."
But I am the new one that has joined the community.
There were one or two "like minded people" moving impatiently unhappy about the situation.
These people are living in the community for a very long time.
I remained reserved gulping the agitation, waiting for the above said "like minded people" to react to the situation.

After a few moments of my frustration, among the giggles and private jokes he appeared with a lot of papers in his hand.
”Individual bills” He announced and started distributing them calling each one by name of the dish ordered.
This has drawn attention of a few Americans in the hotel.
He had a special $11.00 bill too: A combined one for the drinks (all soft). I had just plain water.
Every one who ordered drinks escaped from the very sight of it.
Don’t ask me where the "organization/initiation" has gone.

Finally a "like minded" guy responded impatiently.

Said, "I am paying cash for Ramu and me for our drinks also. I don't care for the rest."

And he was about to do it, a voice raised "What about the $11.00 bill? will you share it?"

Matter of just half-a-dollar each but the guy was very particular about it.
There exactly I involuntarily made the gesture as I said in the beginning of this story.

Probably as an attempt to pacify the bad impression caused by the “individual bills” and the “You will have to share $11.00 bill” he gave a lot of tip to the waiter and paid for my plain water also, which is not usually necessary.

I never have lived in this kind of society. May be I was not aware that there are people like this.

At the time of writing this, there is another farewell party going on in CLiL campus, on the name of Mr.XYZD and KMAM (who is returning to India tomorrow).
A few housewives volunteered for preparing food. Some are forced or trapped or pushed to.
I called KMAM to say that I am not willing to join the so called party. But you know what KMAM told me?
"Em party maama? Naaku yemee teleede!. (What party buddy? I have no clue!)"
Farewell party without involving or informing the very living organism the center point of the party!!!
But, yes, the "party" is going on.

All CLiL are the so called "Professional software engineers" representing the great mother India in the USA.

Being a part of this community I literally hated myself, felt like burning my body to get purified.

Why has my best friend joined the party? He told me why. …just before convincing himself to join the group.
He is obliged to. He “had to be helped" by the CLiL in his initial days in Lakewood. So that's it.
He was not as lucky as I am. He had to depend. Now am in the protected shield of his plights.
It's the response from him in case if there is a “show-cause” notice from you. I got this hint a bit indirectly.
But I have to know why the "like minded" well-wisher insisted me too to join the party.

Probably he might have felt I was over reacting. May be he is right.

 

Bombay Dreams - Musical Stage Play [June 06 8:38 AM]

"Rahman doesn’t even write what’s thought of as world music. He writes a world of music — so broad and deep, so instantly likable and lastingly satisfying,

it is the whole world. I hope that, sometime soon, our part of the world catches up with Rahman. Until we do, an important part of our internal juke box will

be bereft." --Richard Corliss, Time Magazine.

 http://www.time.com/time/columnist/corliss/article/0,9565,1013198-1,00.html

 

Friday evening.

June-02-2006. Time 6.30pm.
Tickets are reserved for the stage play Bombay Dreams.
They call it "Andrew Lloyd Webber's Bombay Dreams".
I call it "A R Rahman's ...". Fans of Indian movies need no introduction to Rahman.

 

As usual everyone except Arun was all set.
Finally he joined us in last seconds.
Mr.& Mrs.Aaraj, Arun and myself in Aaraj's BMW.
Harsha and Bharatan in Harsha's Acura.
We reached the auditorium "Theatre Under The Stars" in downtown.

 

Arun asked me if that was my first time to see downtown.
I have seen it before from inside car but never got down there.
Aaraj said "This is the center of the city. Old place. City is spread around this."
I said "Ok I got it. So this is the KalasiPalya of Houston."
That was the hit joke of the moment.
FYI, KalasiPalya is the old, clumsy, dirty, smelly, busy market area of Bengulooru (Bangalore).
Bangalore is the center for all of us, we came to Houston from Bangalore.
So everyone knew what Kalasipalya is, so my comment was a big Joke.

 

I was all excited about the show. Was that excitement?
Yes, but I was more curious than excited. How is it going to be?
I feebly remember those street-dramas played in my village when I was a small kid.
Without any idea I watched a few stage plays.
By the songs sung in one of the plays I could now figure out it was NartanaSaala.
Those plays disappeared soon.
Now I am going to watch this play.
I know that I am not qualified to write a review.
As a naive but interested audience who has got the genes to enjoy the art, it is an expression of the bliss.

 

I have listened to BombayDreams audio so many times. I like a few tracks.
Particularly, the wedding Qawwali "Sona sonaa.." haunts.
I have had listened to it repeatedly in a loop for hours together.
Well, I listened to it one more time just before we started at home.

 

We collected the tickets and a brochure.
It had the details of the play.
Still 40 minutes time for the show to begin.
I read the brochure thoroughly.
It is divided into two acts. A ten minutes gap in between.
Dutarion was almost 2 hours and 30 minutes.
Story line is described scene by scene.
What are the scenes, which song in what scene etc was found in that.
Now I got an idea how this is going to be.
I read about the cast. Most of them are well educated.
They are young and specialized in the art of theatre.
They have traveled a lot of places.

 

We are inside the theatre.
At first look, I felt the stage was very small.
First scene: A slum area in Bombay (Mumbai). Real one.
It's a replica of any slum area presented on the stage (small one? No.)
A dozen slum people appeared doing their daily routine works.
A woman selling something, an old woman separating stones from rice, young boys moving around, coolies, hamalees, what not, it is a slum area alive before my

eyes.
Their dress, body language, expressions, attitude...everything is presented in the first scene in just less than a minute.
I am impressed. I can now enjoy the rest of the play.
I could easily follow it coz I know the play scene by scene.

 

Without wasting a second, the way they changed the settings, scenes, costumes etc was amazing.
Street scene is over. Next is a movie set and film shooting scene.
Blink of an eye. It’s ready. Actors are there uttering their dialogues.
Superb organization. Flawless synchronization among the performers.

 

Lighting effects!? Wonderful.
There must be a psychology-study and engineering behind it.
Not only music; proper lighting effects for the intensity of each scene enhanced the performance of the artists.

 

After a terrific dance sequence, as I was mesmerized, I heard claps all over the auditorium.
The next moment I realized that I am not watching a movie. Its a stage play.
Claps are the food for artists. Applause from the audience makes them perform their best.
From then on I did not miss cheering when ever there was a heartening act.

 

Important ingredient of the play was the continuous humor in the form of satire, imitation, sarcasm, retort etc.

 

All the actors had a perfectly suitable figure.
Lead character of the show Aakash was just like any Mumbai Cinema hero.
(I dont like the word Bollywood, it's an imitation of the word Hollywood. Indian cinema has it's own individuality)
The character Rani who is a happening Mumbai Cinema lead lady (who is very proud of her physique) had a toned body.
Priya (daughter of a film producer and fially Aakaashs' wife in the play) is good looking too. She has a great singing talent too.
Priya's dad Madan appropriately appears with a belly.
Sweetie is apt as a lady-boy.
This word lady-boy is used in the play (Vikram calls him/her like that).
Vikram is very good as a lawyer (with spectacles) and as a realtor-villain (with no spectacles).

All of the actors have got a very good singing capability in addition to dialogue delivery.

My favorite wedding Qawwali is played just before the end of play. They managed it well.
It would be "asking for too much" to expect a voice like Sukhvinders'.

All in all, the show impressed every one.

After the show we had a nice mid-night dinner in Buffalo-wings.
It is famous for chicken-wings fried in oil with spice added in range from light to blazing hot.
I opted to see how blazing it would be. Not much. There were no after effects also.
But there was an after effect of BombayDreams. That is this blog.

Idle Brain Is Devils Desktop [June 02 9:14 AM]

 

I failed the primary written test for drivers license (Texas). Shame? "Yes", I would have said if the conditions were normal. Questions were tougher than usual. 30 questions. If I am not sure of the answer I can skip. Skipped questions repeat in the end. I can answer them later. I skipped 12 questions. All the 18 I answered were correct. Skipped questions started repeating. I started guessing the answers. What ever I chose turned out to be wrong. I could answer only one question correctly. I got 64%. Pass percentage is 70. Just two more correct answers, I pass. Aaraj was at the top of happy-hill.   He told me to thoroughly read DL-handbook  and to take a few on-line model-tests. I took it easy. Bharatan wanted to know why and how.   According to Harsha and Arun, it used to be very easy.   Harsha said it was dead easy. "All dabba questions." Recently DPS (Dept. of Public Safety, TX) seems to have made changes to the exam. One must read each and every point in the DL-handbook to pass the exam.   A few questions:  1) When a car is moving at 20mph the lawful breaks should stop it within ---- feet.   2) When a minor (under 21) causes an accident and refuses to give blood samples for a traffic officer, for how long his drivers license will be suspended for the first offence?   They know my age. I am not a minor. But I am asked this question. Is this test is to make me a traffic officer in Texas? May be! A few more questions like this ruined me :-)   These are multiple choice questions.   Choices were very close and confusing. This test reminded me of medical entrance test [EAMCET in Andhrapradesh]. Hmmm, I am giving another attempt. What the heck, I am going to pass this time.   But this failure has a positive side too.   It has made me active and alert again. For the last one week I did not have proper work in office. Entire day I used to sit idle. They say, "Idle brain is devils desktop" ;-)   But, with this jolt I am back again*             *conditions apply ;-)

Fantastic Life! Why disturb it? [May 21 8:09 PM]

"Once you are in a relationship, you get a pleasure by giving importance to the other person’s likes and dislikes. That is the price you pay for enjoying the romance and commitment." -- A.T

Last Monday morning, a friend asked me in office a casual question: "How is it going man?"

It is casual because we spent the weekend together.

I had lunch at their home (Saturday), went to a movie, played volleyball on Sunday evening.

But I thought for a few seconds pondering for a true reply: "Fantastic."

He added, "Good, no complaints!?"

"No complaints."

"That's good. ...See you."

After sitting in my chamber, I thought this way:

"Fantastic! Yes, fantastic. Only thing I haven't had was -- enough money, I am earning it now.

I have no liabilities. No dues. I feel fresh as if I enjoy taking a bath.

I have a good reputation in my work place. I am enjoying my job.

I am playing volleyball every evening. I enjoy co-players cheering my effort.

I am healthy. I am slowly getting into shape. Putting on somw weight.

I think I am good-looking. I am in a good company of people.

I am enjoying good Indian food. Luckily I am fond of Burgers.

What else?

For any common Indian man at 26, once all the basic needs are fulfilled...

...the next expected step in life is marriage.

But why?

Why disturb my 'fantastic life'?

Does it in any way improve the quality of life?

All I see is additional responsibility, sacrifice, loss of freedom, extra burden...

And, what are the returns I might get at the cost of risking my 'fantastic life'?

I wanted to seek the openion of a frank married man. Who else? The same friend.

I sent him an email:

From:

Reddy, Ramanadha
Sent: Monday, May 15, 2006 2:06 PM
Subject: What was the need that pushed you to get married?

Tell me in three sentences.

His quick response, here it is:

Sent: Monday, May 15, 2006 2:11 PM
To: Reddy, Ramanadha
Subject: RE: What was the need that pushed you to get married?

At one point I had strong feeling that I wanted to be with a female more than bunch of guys. i e Hormonic drive)

I am a Traditional Indian never had easy access to womans body, and marriage was the only option)

She was going to get married to some one else if I hadn’t acted at that point, I was terribly wanted something like her and I didn’t want to let it go.

I felt happy about his frank response. I like this kind of people who are not afraid of telling the truth.

From: Reddy, Ramanadha
Sent: Monday, May 15, 2006 2:25 PM
Subject: RE: What was the need that pushed you to get married?

Thank you so much for the frank response.

Today morning you asked me "How is life?", I said "Fantastic."

You said, "No complaints!?" I nodded, "Yes". I was correct at the moment.

I got this question immediately: "If my life fantastic this way, why should I ever get married to somebody?"

I am worried that THE harmonic wave sweeps me into the ocean of marriage and makes me struggle ever after.

Once in, for every thing I need my partner’s approval. For every move I need to be considerate.

Once in, I can’t be ‘my self’ anymore; can’t easily get out of it when I feel uncomfortable.

Still, if I am questioned "Are you sure, you don’t want to get married?". I say ‘yes’, but that ‘yes’ sounds like "I …don’t know".

God bless me!!!

I wanted him speak more so that I may get some useful information from his experience.

You don't get many people who can be this bold and honest in expressing thier views. He says more:

Sent: Monday, May 15, 2006 3:16 PM
To: Reddy, Ramanadha
Subject: RE: What was the need that pushed you to get married?

There is a pleasure and an un-measurable return I get when I decide to not to do something because she doesn’t like it ;)

Once you are in a relationship, you get a pleasure by giving importance to the other person’s likes and dislikes.

(That is the price you pay for enjoying the romance and commitment.)

Just give you an example, you made a decision not to go to Austin with us , because you wanted to give company to Harsha to get his car repaired.

That is something fresh.

The price is NOT "losing my freedom".

He says, it is... "giving importance to the other persons likes and dislikes".

A few pleasures at the cost of a little freedom. I said:

From:

Reddy, Ramanadha
Sent: Monday, May 15, 2006 5:22 PM
Subject: RE: What was the need that pushed you to get married?

Great relief to know the positive end of that life... but at present, I don’t see any obvious reason (except getting physical) to disturb my ‘fantastic life’.

I am worried about one thing: Before convincing myself and getting psychologically prepared to, I may marry some one because of the only reason that I would get old.

If this happens I may feel defeated, lost and compromised in a big way. God bless me again ;-)

Sent:

Monday, May 15, 2006 5:44 PM
To: Reddy, Ramanadha
Subject: RE: What was the need that pushed you to get married?

That’s rite. obviously you are not ready to get married. We will talk this offline..

There will be a point in your life where you can appreciate being hooked with a female ..

And, here is another friend who is busy and excited about change in his solo-life.

He is my classmate and one in our BCA closed circuit batch: Jeevan. Mr.Frank.

I asked the same question: "What was the need that pushed you to get married?

Tell me in four sentenses. He responded like this:

I don't know what it's all about ... in these days there is almost no
day that someone pops out a question "When are you getting married?"
Few months ago I would have just smiled thinking that was part of a
casual chat. Day in day out it's turns out to more a reality, It
doens't get anything less serious. Almost to the point of getting a
bit frustrated. May be it's the season of wedding. I see wedding cards
updated on our department's notice board like daily news.

Clearly I'm not desperate, am I? I've lived alone for so many years,
perfectly free. Why should get into this? Why should I get married?
And why now if at all I should be married. Especially, when in the
odds of ending with the wrong person, for LIFE!

Well, I do a bit of study and research at the topics that influence
life. And, marriage is something that we all go about in this age.
Glad our dear friend
Ramnath raised the issue.'What was the need that pushed you to get
married?' (I welcome like to raise lot of discussion/ debate on that
later)

The best place we can understand life is to see the nature. When we
see the birds, the trees, the flowers ... all flora and fauna. There
is wonderful rythm ... the seasons of spring, autumn, fall. One has to
give life to the other, make the generations move forward. Life has to
give birth, live, nurture itself and the offspring and someday ...
die! Sadly, we do not want to hear the word die ... but truth be told
we go to die. If Jeevan says he is not getting there then it's
selfishness and mere short-sightedness of this life.

Our natural instincts of expecting love & care are the proof that we
need this. To be honest, every human being has this emotional need of
love & care especially expressed through sex. To be painfully frank.
Emotional support is vital in life. Twenty or thirty years down the
line, Jeevan may not be so emotionally strong and young in approach to
life. The perfect proof, that I realise as I contemplate on life, is
creation, nature. Our body is a perfect example of symmetrical
harmony. Of course, we do not need two eyes to see something. One is
enough. One leg is enough to walk (or better describe to hop) and
move. They say it takes two hands to clap ... and there I see the
reality ... it takes two to walk in this sometimes, tough path called
life. I don't say it's impossible, but how much more better is two to
share the pain and laughter in this life. Two eyes together add the
three dimensional reality to vision. May be, I can also say that two
eyes are better than one to see something from a different perspective.

And why now? We can go back to nature for inspiration and learning.
There is season of fall and a season of autumn and a season of spring!
There is time to laugh and time to cry. 'eh vayasu muchata aa vayasulo
jaragali'

Ramnath, let me know your views on it. I'm all set to go much deeper
into this topic.

Coming back to my scenario when someone asked 'When are you going to
get married?' Very innocently and with a touch of sadness I said
"Telvadu" :)

I'll now get back to work ....

He is coming up again with his heart out...in his next mail.

Now just see this conversation (Yahoo! chat) with Nagireddy Sunil Kumar...

My classmate in M.Sc(IS), roommate in (LangarHouse) Hyderabad.

He is another Mr.Frank.

He used to admire my on-the-face responses and Telugu accent.

Ramu: "why you want to marry after 3 years? is it only because everybody does it at that age? what is the need that pushes you". Think about it and mail me.

sunil kumar: I don't care abt everybody

sunil kumar: if that is the case then I should start looking now only

sunil kumar: I have some goals

sunil kumar: after achieving them I want to marry

sunil kumar: And I know it will take 3 years to achieve them

sunil kumar: thats why after 3 years

Ramu: goal is ok, but why do you want to marry after achieveing your goals?

Ramu: that is what I need. Why marriage?

sunil kumar: obvious reason

sunil kumar: need a companion who will be along with you in every turn of your life

sunil kumar: it may seem some what unrealistic

sunil kumar: but that is the reason for me

Ramu: you don't want to take some time, think and tell me in your mail?

Ramu: is it your response? that's all?

sunil kumar: not necessary

sunil kumar: no need to think abt it

Ramu: alright

Ramu: thank you for your frank response.

Ramu: week end has started it seems

Finally, what are MY views? Let me talk to a few more people :-)